Links And Resources


Gottman Method Couples Therapy

The Gottman website is a treasure trove of information and resources for couples seeking to improve their relationship.

I highly recommend subscribing to the Gottman Blog, which has articles put out weekly or so that are quick to read and always interesting. I have also ‘liked’ the Gottman Institute on Facebook and other social media. Both resources post relationship articles as well as really great stuff about parenting and childhood development. Some folks really enjoy the Gottman apps for date night or to create a Ritual of Connection.


Other Approaches for Couples Therapy

Here are some other approaches and methods:

  • Emotionally Focused TherapyThis page within Dr. Sue Johson’s website provides a background and description.
  • Developmental Model of Couples Therapy: Drs Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson have studied and developed a treatment model that I often incorporate in my practice. Their website offers this valuable information.
  • Conscious Loving: Drs Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks have worked for over 30 years to help couples and individuals find joy in all aspects of life. I love the free stuff they so generously offer.

Great Sex

The Gottman website “about how to make real love, not just impersonal shallow sex". What’s different about this site? Lots of education sites are all about the mechanics – lick here, touch there, try this new contorted position, add some whipped cream…And those are fine. But few (if any) of these sites teach you how to make sex deeply meaningful and intimate. And once you’ve had personal and deeply loving sex, you’ll agree that intimate sex is definitely more fulfilling in "every way”.

Esther Perel, PhD is a world-renowned expert in sexual relations. Here is a link to her TED talk, The Secret to Desire in a Long-term Relationship.  Look for her books, videos and other great sex information on her website.

Infidelity

Some resources I often recommend are:


Divorce

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay; A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship, by Mira Kirshenbaum. For couples trying to discern whether to remain in relationship

Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours, by Daphne Rose Kingma. A great approach to uncoupling with intention and grace.


Gottman Attachment Theory

This Gottman Blog article is an informative read on Attachment Theory as it applies to adults as individuals and in relationships. The additional links are a treasure trove of information on human development, Neurobiology and general mental health, as well.


Mindsight

Dr. Daniel Siegel introduced the field of interpersonal neurobiology and has the ability to teach about his valuable findings in a way that is accessible to non-scientists. His concept, Mindsight, is a skill that can change your brain. His website is crammed with information and links to his books, videos, training and other events.


Mindfullness and Meditation 

Mindfulness is kind of a buzzword these days and might feel kind of like just another lifestyle trend. However, many practices which exist under the vague mindfulness umbrella are talked about for good reason. There are countless studies, scholarly articles and other sources of evidence to show that certain mind/body interventions can help with a wide variety of emotional and mental health issues.
Here is my favorite introduction to Meditation, it’s literally 2 minutes long. Watch here.

I often teach, and encourage the practice of, meditation as a way to decrease anxiety and depression symptoms and provide “exercise” for the brain to enhance resilience, focus and mental energy. Other mindfulness practices I teach involve relaxation techniques, creative visualization, guided imagery and clinical hypnosis. There is a lot of overlap in all of these practices. UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center tells us, 

“In the last ten years, significant research has shown mindfulness to address health issues such as lower blood pressure and boost the immune system; increase attention and focus, including aid those suffering from ADHD; help with difficult mental states such as anxiety and depression, fostering well-being and less emotional reactivity; and thicken the brain in areas in charge of decision making, emotional flexibility, and empathy.” 

Their website has links to research supporting these claims and they have generously provided some free guided meditations.

Note: Not responsible for the content, claims or representations of the listed sites.